Monday, May 11, 2009
I'm afraid the blog may take a bit of a break for the next little while, and not for lack of material so much as for lack of time to sift through it. I have boxes and boxes of my mom's letters and other writings, and most of the previous posts come from snippets I'd collected over the past several years. With that easily accessible material used up, finding more means finding the time to look for it.
So, I guess what I'm saying is this: while I will eventually post more, it may take some time. In the meantime, if you have thoughts or recollections of my mother that you would like to share, please email them to me at firstname.lastname@example.org, and I will post them here. Ideally, I'd make everyone an administrator and open it completely up, but I can't figure out a way to do that easily.
I wish I had something deep or profound to add at this point, but I don't. Yesterday, on Mother's Day, we drove down to the cemetery in Bountiful where my mother is buried, and I stood for awhile and looked at the dates on her headstone. Standing there, I felt keenly the loss all over again. I miss her warmth, her smile, her wit and wisdom, the sound of her voice on the end of the line. Dinners together on Sunday afternoons. Cooking together. Laughing together. Her enthusiasm for life and people.
Mom should've been around for another 20-30 years, I can't help feeling, but she's gone, really gone, and there's nothing to be done about it, and the saddest part of all is that--outside of Jordan--my children do not know her and cannot feel the warmth of her love, at least not in this life.